The Full Monty

So, our dear dear friend Colin Montgomerie is admitting to an affair now. This is the same guy who made public jokes about Tiger not playing in the Ryder Cup because "there wouldn't be enough room for all his mistresses", right?

Monty has always rubbed me the wrong way. From walking in other golfers' putting line to sticking his arrogant foot in his mouth, I've just never been able to see a lot of redeeming qualities in him. And I'm a guy who can see redeeming qualities in Sergio Garcia, so you should know I'm pretty openminded. The big discussion today can loosely be umbrella'd under the heading "Where is the outrage?". Writers who slammed Tiger to the ground is now called on the carpet for not doing the same to Monty. It's just a matter of time until someone plays the Race Card and claims Monty's getting a free ride because he's white while Tiger's is the scary evil black man who's taking all our women (I paraphrase, of course). Race has nothing to do with this. IF Monty gets a free ride (and I'm not sure he is), it's for this reason: Just look at the dumpy fellow !!! Tiger is incredibly rich, famous, popular, athletic, and good looking. Monty is, well, somewhat famous. From the point of view of charm and looks, he's a lot more like the lager louts down at the pub than the golfer on the cover of a video game. Monty having an affair is like Billy Joel cheating on Christie Brinkley. It's Puffy calling a 900 number in the shower while married to Jennifer Lopez. It defies explanation, and it makes us shake our head back and forth in a very Lewisblackesque manner. WTF?